The Friend Who Shattered Me—and the One Who Saved Me in Silence

 


I had already lost so much.

My breasts.
My hair.
My husband.
My mind.

But nothing prepared me for losing her—my very, very best friend.

She wasn’t just a friend. She was my safe place. She was my safe person. My history. My family by choice. And the very first person I ever told that I was with a woman.

I trusted her completely. She was literally the only person I trused with everything within me. I loved her deeply.

Until I got a text message that said she and her family were washing their hands of me. She didn’t approve of “how I was living,” and just like that—gone. No conversation. No compassion. No care.

I was still very suicidal. But this? This felt like a final blow. This? This sent me crawling under the covers frantically searching for how in the world I could still end it all without hurting anyone in the process. 

Robin Saw It Coming. I Didn’t.

The first time Robin met her, she didn’t like her. She said something felt… off. Not genuine.

I didn’t listen. I was mad at Robin for even saying it.
But when that text came through, Robin wasn’t surprised.

I, on the other hand, was completely shattered.

There aren’t really words for what that kind of abandonment feels like. It doesn’t just sting—it cuts into every wound you already have and twists the knife.

It almost took me out.

But Then—Robin Showed Up.

Robin has saved my life more than once.
Not with pep talks or Bible verses.
Not with solutions.

She would just sit at the end of my bed.
Quiet. Steady. Present.

She didn’t try to fix me. She didn’t flinch at my pain.
She simply stayed.

And sometimes? That’s all we need.
Not answers.
Just someone who doesn’t leave.

To Anyone Who’s Been Left Behind for Simply Being You

If someone has ever cut you off for being honest about who you are, I want you to hear this:

It wasn’t your truth that broke the relationship.
It was their inability to hold it.

You are not too much.
You are not wrong.
You are not alone.

And if you’re carrying the grief of being abandoned—especially by someone who once swore they’d never leave—I see you. I believe you. I’ve lived it.

And you will survive it.

The Suicide Solution is the book I’m writing for moments like these.

It’s not church-safe.
It’s soul-safe.
And if you’ve ever wanted the pain to end—this book is for you.

Stay connected. Stay breathing.
The world needs your story too.

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