The Life I Almost Missed

I remember my first car.

For my 16th birthday, my brother bought me a big ass station wagon. It was everything to me. He paid $300 cash for that car for his little sister.

I grew up with a father who refused to help my mom clothe and feed me while she worked two jobs my entire life just trying to support me.

I went without clothes that fit.
I went without food.

I vividly remember us being completely out of food. Or… so I thought.

We had one single piece of bread left. My mom got it out and gave it to me.

I took that piece of bread, tore it in half, and gave the other half back to her.

In that moment, I was so grateful.
Grateful for my mom.
Grateful for that half piece of bread.
Grateful that I had food at all.

I watched my mom buy shitty cars because that was all she could afford. They would break down, and my big brother would fix them.

But somewhere deep within me, I knew…

I would be the one.

I would be driven.
I would find my way.
I would break generational curses.
I would break free from religious dogma.
I would build a life generations before me could only dream of.

I have a great job now, but I started out, in my mind, as nothing.

I have busted my ass.
I have worked long hours.
I have taken risks.
I have done scary things with my face turning red and my voice shaking.
I have made cold calls to strangers.
I have faced myself.

It has always been a dream of mine to order a vehicle online and pick exactly what I wanted, piece by piece.

In my little fairytale world, I would walk into a dealership with cash like a boss and pay for it in full.

But that… that was only a fairytale.

Until I made that shit real.

I tell you this because I want you to believe in possibilities.

There is so much out there waiting for you.

And you might be one radical decision away from changing everything.

Leaving a job.
Leaving a dead-end relationship.
Leaving your comfort zone for the unknown.

Because on the other side…

There might be magic.

I’m living proof.

I bought myself a brand new 4Runner. My dream car.

I walked in with a cashier’s check and paid for it in full.

On my own.
Not married.
No man.

Me.
Just me.

I walked out not owing a single dime.

I don’t share this as a “look what I bought” moment.

I share this because there was a time I didn’t think I would even be here.

A time where none of this felt possible.

And if you’re in that place right now…

I see you.

I know how heavy it can feel.
I know how real it can feel.

But I also know this:

Your life can change in ways you can’t see yet.

You might be one decision away.
One moment away.
One small step away.

From something that feels impossible today.

That’s why I’m writing The Suicide Solution.

Because staying alive is just the beginning…

Building a life you actually want to stay for?

That’s where everything changes.

And this right here…

This moment…

It means more than a car ever could.

Because the little girl who split a piece of bread with her mom…

She’s still with me.

And I know, without a doubt—

She would be so fucking proud.

Meet Nelley. ❤️

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