The Suicide Solution

  We are so quick to say it. Selfish. How could they do that to their family? To their children? To the people who loved them? Losing someone that way is devastating and the grief that follows is complicated in ways that are hard to put into words. Those feelings are valid. But here is what most people never see or even talk about for that matter. They never see the hundreds of times that person decided not to. The thousands of moments they white-knuckled their way through the darkness, fighting with everything they had just to make it to the next minute. The next hour. The next breath. That is not weakness. That is some of the most extraordinary courage a human being can show. And it takes a special kind of strength to live with a suicidal mind that ruminates 24 hours a day. I know this because I lived it. And what I can tell you from the inside is that the people we call selfish are often the ones who were fighting the hardest...quietly, invisibly, in ways nobody around th...

  We are always so quick to look for red flags in other people. In relationships, in friendships, in the workplace, we've become almost hyper-vigilant about spotting warning signs in those around us.  But what about ourselves? When I wake up feeling down, or "off," or just out of sorts, those are red flags for me. And just like any other red flag, they deserve attention. The problem is that most of us were never taught to look inward. We were taught to react, to the world around us, to other people, to circumstances. Turning that awareness back on yourself is actually a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. The first thing I do when I notice that something feels off is think about what I'm thinking about. It sounds simple, almost too simple, but you'd be surprised how often that's exactly where the answer is hiding. A worry you've been pushing aside. A conversation that didn't sit right. An expectation you didn't realize you were carrying. ...