Introducing The Suicide Solution

The name, "The Suicide Solution", came to me quite some time ago. I don't think I ever thought of it as something that would be what I am creating now. Back then, I honestly thought of it and wished with all my might that there actually WAS a solution.

"The truth is, I was suicidal before I even knew what the word meant."

After my attempted suicide, 12 years ago, my sister was asking me questions about me being suicidal when I was very young. I had NO idea what she was talking about. She asked me if I remembered my mother taking me to counseling when I was around 10 -12 years old. I, of course remembered that. She went on to tell me that the reason my mom started taking me to counseling was because she had found my little diary and read it. I guess I had written a lot in that special diary about killing myself. 

I was shocked, as I have NO memory of this whatsoever. Not even today, in this very moment. NONE. But, alas, I spent many, many seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and yes, even years wishing death upon myself. The traumas in my life started when I was only 3 years old. Looking back at my life, I feel like life has just always been out to get me. Like, what the actual fuck. Sharing my story, I KNOW without a single shadow of a doubt that even just ONE of my traumas would cause someone to want to leave this earth. 

I spent years like this and honestly, I didn't actually "feel" like a suicidal person. I just didn't realize that I was. I understand that this is confusing but yet I know there are people out there that can 100% relate to this. Looking back, it is like I was this little girl that was hopeless. There were things happening to me and happening so quickly. I have no idea how death seemed to be the answer from such a young age. 

When I did attempt to take my own life at the ripe old age of 44 years old, I had reached the max of SHIT I could handle. I was hopeless. I was in complete despair. My mind was completely fucked and I didn't even KNOW IT!!!! It was a slow progression. I knew I was messed up, broken, damaged goods, beyond repair. THIS is how I TRULY felt deep within me. Who wants to openly share this with another soul? What else could be done? Why would I turn to anyone? To just be locked up? Have the police called? Be committed because no one really knows what to do with people like this. I didn't want my children taken away? So, there were no options. There were NONE that I could clearly see. 

This is the start of my story. But thank goodness, it doesn't end there. Here it is 12 years later...TWELVE YEARS!!! And only just this year am I realizing that my life was spared to save others. I have felt a sense of complete urgency the majority of this entire year. I just didn't know until recently what it was about. I am writing this, with tears flowing down my face. There is very, very little that can bring me to tears. But this is it. 

A boy that I know, barely 21 years old, took his own life recently. It was in that very moment that I became aware of what had happened, that I suddenly realized what all this urgency was about. I didn't know him very well, but I do know his family very well. I feel like he has been with me. Like he is telling me that I am onto something. That something that is within me is a very desperate plea to everyone out there reading this to PLEASE help me find these people!!! 

I have started a FB page, and Instagram page, a TikTok, that I really do not even know how to use! I am doing everything that I can possibly think of to find people in this terrible, awful, lonely place. I KNOW that I can help them. I KNOW that I can help people who have attempted suicide and have lived! I KNOW that I can help people who have lost someone to suicide. I am here. I am willing. I am able to help. I just need help in getting my story out there. That is it. This cannot be that hard. I am trying every single day to find these people.

Will you consider helping me? Please? I WISH SO much that I would have had a ME out there when I was facing the darkest times in my entire existence to reach out to. I have set up a completely FREE event for October 22nd to share my story. I will share my traumas openly and what lead up to me trying to take my own life. But ultimately, my goal in this life, is to help others find the SOLUTION to suicidal ideation!!!! There are SO many, many, many solutions. But here's the thing, there is NO TIME!!!! There is NO TIME y'all!!!! People are STRONGLY and VERY SERIOUSLY considering this RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND.  And here I am over here just trying with all that I am to find these people! 

I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE.

 I need your help. Don't we ALL know someone like this? Well, maybe you just don't realize it. No one wants to admit this to someone. Ya know what? There are people you know very deeply who are SO very suicidal and you would NEVER, EVER know it!!!! I am pleading with you to help me. Please share this. Send me your ideas. Send me your tips. Let's brainstorm on how I can do this! Like I said, this cannot be done alone. It will take an army of individuals to overcome this. Won't you help me? I am begging for your tips, honest thoughts, your opinions, your genuine HELP. 

The link to sign up for my FREE event next week is 

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/1046492887397?aff=oddtdtcreator 

PLEASE SHARE THIS! 

Attend if you want to. THIS IS FREE AND WILL ALWAYS BE FREE. THIS IS URGENT. SOMEONE IS HIGHLY CONSIDERING TAKING THEIR OWN LIFE THIS VERY MOMENT!! What if they just SO happened to see this? What if they just SO happened to see it pop up on YOUR social media feed in this very moment????

Thank you, thank you, thank you for taking the time to read this and share this and help me. If you are reading this, there is indeed a reason that our paths have crossed. 

I am here for you.

-Kelley