The 3 Day Rule (Make it your own!)
The 3 Day Rule
Welcome to the suicide solution. I'm sure the name was very intriguing. I thought of it a long time ago, but at that time I was really screwed up in my mind and was dealing with mental health issues and wasn't about to try to help somebody else. So this year I thought of it again. I had attempted to take my own life in January of 2013.
I have spent the last almost 12 years really healing and working on myself and growing and basically learning how to save my own life every single day. I have always struggled with suicidal thoughts, had suicidal ideation before I even knew or understood what suicide meant. I was a very young girl. Over time, I realized through a series of events that I was suicidal and what that meant. My mom took me to counseling, just a bunch of other things that I'll dive into as we get going. I want to tell you that there is hope. That it doesn't matter on your very darkest, darkest days, because there is a way out. There is a solution. There's a solution for absolutely everything. You can think in your mind that what you're going through right now is the absolute worst thing that's ever happened to anybody in their life. And it could very well be true. It could be very true.
Maybe you've gone through something or you've experienced something SO traumatic that you don't know how you are going to be able to get through this. But you will.
You will and you can.
We as people that have suicidal thoughts and these dark thoughts, they just become all of who we think we are, but it is only a "part" of us. I think the greatest thing I can tell you or teach you in this moment is that it's just a part of our brain. It's a part of who we are. It's a mindset. It's a coping mechanism. I do want to say that I am not a doctor. I can't give you any medical advice. I don't have any letters behind my name, but I AM an expert at saving my own life. I am for sure an expert at that. So, I know that I have saved my own life for almost 12 years now. And it wasn't until this year, 2024, what started out to look like wasn't even going to be any kind of a spectacular year, nor did I even expect it to be. I go into every year with a mantra for myself. This year, my mantra was feel the fear and do it anyway.
Mid-year I added to that to just "go a little further" and it's been a great year. It's been a fantastic year. I used to stay under the covers as much as possible. I used to go to bed as early as I could, drink until I could just pass out and go to sleep so I wouldn't have to think about my problems to have a freaking break from them and then I would sleep as late as possible.
Now, I go to bed as late as I can and I get up as early as I can because there's SO much life to live. There's so much I didn't know about! It's like I just have a new perspective, a new vision, new eyes. I see through a new set of eyes and it is just so incredible that I want to share it with the WHOLE WORLD. I want you to know that you can literally go from thinking about nothing other than death as the only result, the best result, the best option for you. I know I've lived this way and now to how I am today. Gosh, if you would have known me last year, 10 years ago, once you start hearing about the trauma and the things that I've endured and been through, you're gonna wonder to yourself how I did it.
Ya know, I survived the attempt. When I woke up from surviving my attempt in the hospital on life support, not expected to make it, my first words were,
You have got to be fucking kidding me!!
And I literally thought to myself, I had died and gone STRAIGHT to hell and that this was hell for me to actually have to continue living this fucked up life.
So I get it, I get exactly what it feels like. And I know I can relate to you. I know the thoughts that you think, I know how it feels and I know how fucked up it can be. But I also know that there truly is hope. I have witnessed it myself, I have saved my own life and I know what it takes to LIVE...WILLINGLY. And I know that I am the person that can help you. You know, when you're in your most desperate, darkest hour, there's no one you can call and THAT is part of the problem. You can't reach out to anybody and even me as you get more comfortable with me and you feel like, "hey I can relate to this lady, she understands. She gets me. She knows what this is like." And you really get closer to me and I get closer to you and we build this space with one another.
When you're in that darkest hour, when you see NO OTHER OPTION and you are in complete despair, you can't even call me!! Not because you don't have my number, but because it's a scary place to be. And once you're that bad off and in that dark of a place, you don't want to call anybody. So what can we do? We have to find how to save ourselves.
The answers lie within US. It's not anybody outside of ourselves.
You need to save yourself because YOU know yourself better than anybody else. I know me better than anybody because no one knows the depths of who we are. No one truly knows the thoughts that you think, the insecurities that you have, the dark cloud that hovers over our minds and our thoughts. The things that torment us on a regular basis, our perceptions, every single person has gone through something different in this life. And we all view everything from the lens of our pasts. So, I'm here to tell you that the reason, the biggest reason when we're in that dark, dark place, when you're contemplating taking your own life, you can't call somebody because they will call the police!
They will have you committed. They will take your kids away because you're not sane. These are all the things that I thought in my mind. And I know I'm not alone. I know I'm not alone. You're stuck. I don't care if you are in a room full of 50 people that love you, well, they say they do, that care about you, they say they do. It doesn't matter because until we can learn to love ourselves, and I know it's a hard concept. It is such a hard concept. But you can learn exactly how to do this. And I know that I can help you. And I'm so excited about helping you. I'm going to start with one of the very first things that I did for myself. I gave myself a three day limit. So, you know, once I was feeling depressed and I felt down and out, when I felt like suicide was the ONLY answer.
My saving grace was that I lived, because to look my two daughters in the eye, I knew that suicide was off the table. That was NO LONGER an option, which was extremely hard. It was so hard. I was stuck in this world and I didn't even have that option anymore. But what I did was if I got to that place where I wanted to kill myself. I would give myself three days. Okay, this is how I'm feeling. It sucks right now, but it's not an option. So what am I gonna do? Well, I'm gonna get under the covers and stay there for three days. And when that fourth morning came, I had to GET THE FUCK UP. That was the deal I made with myself and...I had to get up.
I had to continue this life and learn how to live life...Totally fucked up. That's how it was and that's how it starts in the beginning. But if you can get this one thing, maybe you work full time, you don't have three days. Well, do you have three hours? Do you have 30 minutes? Can you spread out the three days like, okay, from the time you get home, you feed the kids, you do whatever you gotta do, you throw in a load of laundry, you close your bedroom door and get under the covers. IT'S OKAY!! This is a new way of coping. Okay? Having suicidal ideation IS a coping mechanism. It's a way where we can just have a moment, a moment to imagine what would it be like without this shit going on in our life. I understand.
Man, it feels good. It's like you can just take yourself away to a place where none of this exists anymore and you can have a fucking break from your life and from the stuff going on in your life. We need a new way. This is it.
This is a start. This is a starter advice I have for you and it works. So you figure it out for you, you figure out what YOUR three days gonna look like?
Is it gonna be...
- 30 minutes where you just close the door and you just go inside yourself and you just wrap the covers around you so you can escape?
- Maybe you put the covers over your face and you just try not to think about suicide and you just say to yourself, "I can do this, I can do this, I can do this." I'm GOING to do this, I'm GOING to live, but right now I don't want to and I'm gonna just deal with the fact that I don't want to and I'm gonna talk to myself and I'm gonna say GOD IT SUCKS LIVING!!!! I don't want to deal with any of this, I don't know what to do or how to even begin to know HOW to handle this, but for today, I am going to let myself feel and I am going to get through THIS day.
- You might say to yourself that you absolutely hate living. You hate this situation. You don't want to be in this situation. You want to be OUT of this situation. You might want to run as far away from yourself as you possibly can, if only you could.
- You might Cry. Journal. Do nothing.
This happened for you to save your life.
So do what you need to do. It's three seconds, three minutes, 30 minutes, three days, three moments. Whatever it is, let that save you today. Because I can promise you one thing I know for sure is tonight the sun is going to set. Tomorrow morning the sun is going to rise. If you're like me, which I bet you are, you don't trust people. You can't trust people. People have abandoned you. People have let you down. People haven't come through for you. And it's hard. But one thing's for sure is every night the sun is going to set and every morning is going to rise again. When it rises tomorrow, it's a new day. It's a new fresh start for us.
We don't have to stay stuck in suicidal ideation. This is just the start. This is just the baby steps that can help you. I have so many solutions and I wish I could tell you that this goes away and this works overnight. I wish it did. But the things that I could tell you to do that I do for myself today is too big of a jump. It's too big of a leap to go from where you are now to where you can be. But you can take a baby step and once you realize, wow, that worked for me. It could be exactly what I did or it can be a version, something you create on your own and it's gonna be so beautiful and I can't wait for you to share it with me. And then you can go on and share it with others and then those people can share it with others and we can make a difference. We can change this.
There is a suicide solution. There are many, many solutions. And I'm here to teach you. I'm here to help you. I'm here to help get you through this. If you do anything today, learn that you can save yourself. I look forward to hearing from you. I look forward to teaching you and showing you how to do this, how to live this thing called life. I can't wait to teach you more.
I can't wait to hear from all of you. I would love to get your feedback. I am super excited to help you want to LIVE LIFE.
Love to all-
Kelley
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